More Than You Know
by CrimsonLoveSong
Summary: MattxMello After they are both killing in the kidnapping mission, both Matt and Mello are unable to move on until their feelings are known by the other, both Matt and Mello look back on their lives and the impact they've had on each other. Better than it sounds! Please read and review. Rating may change later on.


More Than You Know

MattxMello

_Matt's POV_

Neither in heaven, neither in hell, where am I? Beats me, I don't have the faintest idea; there isn't anything here except nothingness.

Well, if you want to get literal, it's a city, people coming and going, but with no real destinations, only their own thoughts. Sometimes I wonder if they even exist, I can see and hear them, but it seems like they can't see me. It's surreal, like a scene some kind of movie.

Am I still on Earth?

Possibly.

Until I can answer the question of where I am, or even what I am exactly, I guess my best bet is saying that I'm some kind of freaking ghost or something. Sounds about right. I just got here this morning, from the other nothingness. It truly was nothing. Empty space, no people, no sound, no lights, only darkness. Then suddenly WOOSH here I am, on a familiar street corner in the heart of the bustling city of Los Angeles.

Well, only one thing to do then. I keep walking; ascend that all-to-familiar stairwell to the 4th floor, apartment B. The door doesn't want to open immediately, so I have to fool with the knob for a few seconds. It finally swings open; everything was where we left it, the outdated newspaper tossed carelessly to the corner, my PSP hooked up to the charger, and even Mello's half-eaten chocolate bar, wrapped back up, sitting on the kitchen counter.

Who am I even talking to? Ah, who the fuck cares, I've been so confused that I don't even know anymore. Maybe I've officially gone crazy…heh, dead and crazy, what a combination. But after spending so long in complete nothingness, being bored senseless, I figure I have to talk to someone, even if it is myself.

I wonder what happened to Mello after the kidnapping…I hope he's okay. I hope things went okay, both for his sake and whoever tried to keep him from what he wanted.

Mello always got what he wanted. No matter what the price. He was gonna beat Kira, no matter what the sacrifice had to be; even if it wasn't always his to make.

Those first two shots hurt like hell, enough pain to kill the senses as the others pierced through my chest. Mere seconds felt like an eternity, after the first shot, it was like everything was in slow motion as each individual bullet passed through my body, most of them going completely through me and hitting my car as well as spattering my blood over its shiny paint job. Dying was the really hard part. Lying there, helpless and in pain, unable to move. Time stood still, and like in all the cheesy movies, my life flashed before my eyes, specific scenes in particular. All containing _him. _

-  
First was the day we met. I was only six, small for my age, he was seven. I was assigned to be his roommate, not knowing what he looked like; I decided to ask a girl that seemed nice in the hallway, not realizing she was a _he_, and that _he_ had one hell of a temper. Hah, he beat the crap outta me for mistaking him for a girl…

Then to the time when I was eight and he was nine. We were on a field trip to some kind of summer camp, Roger's idea of a reward for the top ten ranks. More like a punishment if you asked me, having to go outside and exercise and get eaten alive by mosquitos when I'd much rather be playing my precious NES. I had never learned to swim, but that didn't stop Mello.

"It's easy!" he said.

"No!"

"C'mon Matt!" he pushed.

"I can't! I'm scared!" I admitted, before I could blink he pushed me into the deep water. It was either figure out how to swim or drown. Of course, I tried, but ended up going under. He had to jump in after me and drag me out, before doing it all over again until I got the hang of it….

And then that time when we were teenagers, a few months before Mello left Wammy's for good. We were sitting on the rooftops, watching the stars. There was supposed to be a meteor shower, so we sat waiting. He snatched the half-finished cigarette out of my hands and stubbed it out. "You know I hate it when you smoke." He grumbled.

"Will you lighten up for once? You're only two points behind Near now, you can make it up if you get high marks on next week's test." He glared at me silently; I only shrugged and looked back up at the sky before pulling out my Gameboy, prepared to kill the time. Hell, I didn't even care about the damn meteor shower; I was still two badges away from the elite four.

"Matt." He spoke, I replied with a grunt of acknowledgement, too busy trying to beat the current gym leader to look up. "Matt." He said louder, taking the handheld from me.

"Whaaat?" I groaned.

"Kiss me." He said simply.

"What!?" instead of repeating himself, he grabbed me by the hair, forcing me closer and mashing his lips to mine, if there was any slight hesitation in him, it quickly melted away as he tightened his grip in my hair, his tongue slowly slipping past my teeth. My stomach was in knots as I started to kiss him back, the Gameboy disappearing somewhere. His arms wrapped around me, I was engulfed by the smell of leather and chocolate, and with my raging teenaged hormones, and I only wanted more. That was right up his alley. Mello wasted no time in throwing his leather jacket aside and coaxing me out of my vest, trailing hot kisses up and down my jaw as he quickly stripped me down to my boxers before yanking off his shirt and tossing it aside.

"Would you like to help?" he purred, motioning to his skin tight jeans. With my heart racing, I complied; he only got harder as I finally peeled them off along with his boxers.

"I've been thinking about this for a long time." He whispered, tracing small circles on my hipbones as he picked at the waistband of my own boxers.

"s-stop teasing." I moaned while he nipped at my collar bone.

"With pleasure." He smirked. "But first…" his hands went to my goggles… 'oh hell' my heart raced, as if taking my virginity wasn't enough, he had to make me _vulnerable _while he did it. Yet, I couldn't refuse him, it was simply Mello. He had to be the dominant one in anything, and even so, if I had to show vulnerability, it would be to him, only him. He yanked my orange-tinted sanctuary from my face without the slightest sign of mercy. "Shouldn't hide those pretty eyes from me," he whispered, nibbling at my earlobe, making me shudder even more…

I never did find that Gameboy again, not that it mattered. That was the night I realized, Mello wasn't just my roommate or my best friend, I loved him, I truly loved him. If only he felt the same.

After I found him again, things remained that way, I was like his dog, and I'd do whatever he asked of me, no matter what kind of pain or trouble it put me through. I only aimed to please him. He'd flip out if I did the slightest thing wrong, but chocolate always fixed it. We'd share passion-filled nights, but they'd end with him making phone calls, giving orders to the goons in his mafia as I slept on his chest. Was I just his pet and occasional sex toy? Or did he actually love me? Honestly, I don't even know. Occasionally, he'd tell me that I was valuable to him, and he'd talk about how he valued our friendship so much. I guess that was how he showed he cared. But I cared far more, more than he knew.

I always said I'd do anything for him. And true to my word, I died for him. Do I regret it? No.

I'd do it again in a heartbeat.


End file.
